I don't have a type, but...

(Warning, this may be the most un-pc blog I ever write...maybe.)


(...see that's the thing with this topic, my bff and I discussed it and apparently when guys like only Asian girls, it has to do with cultural differences, submissive vs. dominant and so forth... And then we got into why Hispanic guys like white girls, and how I work in sushi restaurant with Asian girls and everyone has the hots for them, but the Hispanic kitchen guys have the hots for me, and wow... tangent!) (Whereas in my case its just because their legs are less hairy. The Asian guys, not girls, wait what were we talking about?) (Oh yeah, this entry is about why I'm attracted to Asian guys.)

Why I Am Attracted to Asian Guys

Being an online dater, I recently signed up for a paid site; having been encouraged by others that I would find more legit, relationship-wanting types on there. One of the first things I noticed (besides, "Oh shit, I spent money, shit got real! I better find someone!") was that I was more attracted to the Asian guys on there. Part of it may be that I'm still reeling about the last guy I dated, who was Burmese, and who I thought was the one. But then I shook that off and decided there were other reasons for this sudden realization that I'm attracted to this "type".

Ironically, tonight a few of my friends asked me what my type was (assuming that maybe I was going for the wrong type and should broaden my scope). I have a speech written out for this very question:
"The only thing any of my former boyfriends have in common is that they were male. If you put them in a room together, they probably wouldn't be friends." Oh, and none of them were Asian.


Ok, I dated someone who was half Filipino, half Black (and all gorgeous! Though I had to end things when he played air keyboard way too long at a club).

Anyway, I also was told I need some pictures in my blog, so this is a good excuse...

Reason #1 (sort of in no particular order)
Senor G (names have been changed to protect identity), Senor G was a half Dutch, half Japanese guy in my high school. He was handsome, played piano, sports, super smart, super artistic, super slut. For some reason that Dutch/Japanese combo = gorgeous. I had another female friend in HS with the same combo and what what, gorgeous!
But superman here was a cocky bastard. Still, a stepping stone.

Reason #2
(Now we get to the pictures)
Bruce Lee

Dude, yellow jump suit, ripped body, can we say hot!?!
I had the box set of his movies, and a Bruce Lee shrine in my first apartment. More because it was funny to have a shrine, and I happened to have a Bruce Lee bobble head, but still... hot.

Reason #3
Sulu

 
Here's where he is defending a woman's honor. Oh, and his facebook presence is hilarious.

#4
Joy Luck Club with Russell Wong

Seriously, he eats watermelon in this movie, and it one of THE sexiest things I have ever seen. Oh, and he's wearing a suit, but his character is an ass, but who cares because SUIT and WATERMELON!

 

#5

Mother Fuckin RUFIO!



 Bangarang baby!

Only to be undone by how hot he is now!

#6
Steven Yeun, Walking Dead

 

 Seriously, once he got rid of the baseball cap, I swooned. Maggie is a lucky fictional character to get to tap that!

#7
John Cho

 Need I say more...

#8
Brandon Lee, pre "The Crow"

Yes, that's what he was famous for, but he did movies before that. Go rent them.
Oh, and I just realized "Sea Urchin boy" from my previous posts is a spitting image of him.

#9
Ken Jeong

Dude, funny as hell AND he's a doctor!

#10
Honorable Mentions
Or, I'm really tired so look these guys up yo'self!

Jay Chou, Green Hornet
Toshiro Mifune, legend
Ken Watanabe, Memoirs of a Geisha
Chang Chen, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon


So, I don't know what it is. But it's there.

Of course, when I was in Tokyo, thinking I'd stick out like a sore thumb, not one guy even batted an eye at me.
But, at least it was fun looking at (in my opinion) hot guys to put on my blog.




p.s. Keep your fingers crossed that some 6' hawt Asian guy falls for me online. Or I meet John Cho.

Why I NOW like the movie "Bridesmaids"

When I first saw the movie, Bridesmaids, I thought... "Ug, they finally make a movie with all female comedians and they make them all pathetic!" Why can't a movie with all females have them be rich girls with daddy issues like most of the Adam Sandler movies I shamelessly watch (and know word for word). Or where they're the ones who ask the guy to leave in the morning and have no emotional connection for the opposite sex except to use them for their body, until the guy who is their best friend suddenly changes all that? Can we PLEASE redo a romcom with the roles reversed??

Ok, done with that rant, back to the OG point.

I was encouraged to watch it again, by my therapist. She was reminded of the opening scene where Kristen Wiig can't get out of the guy's house, she just slept with, the next morning; after I told her about leaving sea urchin boy's house when my car wouldn't go in reverse.

So, I watched it again. And this time I freakishly connected with the main character, realized how many times I was her and how real this movie was. Brash, blatant, and to the point. She is in so many situations that many of us have been in, and has thus put a mirror up for us to see the truth.

And that truth isn't always pretty.

I too have slept with a guy(s) who thought he was the shit and that I wasn't good enough. They weren't as built, or as handsome as the guy in the film (though the guy in the film quickly looses all handsome points based on his personality).  One was actually short, skinny, bald AND super obsessed with his mustache... and thought I wasn't good enough for him, and HE was the one who decided we should stop sleeping together!

Why do we waste our time Kristen Wiig?? We are better then these guys who think they're better than us!


There were a few other moments in the movie that really made sense, but I've forgotten them and now have to watch the movie again to finish this blog (or not) at a later time.




And now I'm also really annoyed by mustaches.

So...

You know its been a long time since you've been in a real relationship when the knights at Medieval Times (in Dallas nonetheless) start looking good.


I mean they CAN ride horses AND sword fight...



AND jump off said horses and wield axes and joust and they're tall and

and

and

No?


:(

Annoyed pants

Maybe I'm a little tired, so something small and insignificant set me off...

Went to stop by a friend's bday at a bar after a loooong day of gutting my garagelet (think closet + garage, it makes sense in my head). I'm in flip flops, no makeup and I walk into uber-trendy-everybody-dressed-up-on-the-prowel-bar.

Notinthemood.

I want to give my friend her bday/emergency tiara and gtfo.

Instead another friend grabs me, makes me have a gross medicinal tasting gross shot of something gross, and go watch her talk to her friends outside. So I wait a few minutes, then leave, in my annoyed pants.

On the way out, get a text from one of the many guys I dated who decided never to text me again after I thought things were going so well. He's there, saw me. I tell him I'm leaving, and to come outside. I wait. I wait. I leave.

45 minutes later hes texting me. I'm curtailing this quickly. But I wanted to rant a bit (before I cry and watch a Katherine Heigel movie) (yes I'm serious, I told you I was tired!)


Oh, AND I ranted on a public-ish forum too...My okcupid profile. I announced on there that I was deleting my profile soon, and that ya'll should put on your big boy skivvies and let a girl know that you're not interested in a relationship instead of not ever talking to her again. Oh, and also deleted all other stuff about me on there. And am tempted to post a SomEcard on their that's very snarky.


Sigh, stupid dating scene.

Just this:

http://markmanson.net/fuck-yes

Your reverse doesn't work

Tonight I found myself screaming to the heavens, "I give, I won't fucking date anymore" amidst tears on my drive home.

I had gone on a few dates with a handsome smart fellow (a few of you know him as "Sea Urchin Boy") who had cooked me dinner a couple of times with fish he caught himself spearfishing, and was very excited to teach me to free dive. The dinners were very romantic, by a roaring fire, or on his roof with Christmas lights and blah blah blah.

Despite the above, I realized he was more interested in teaching me to free dive than date me. Then tonight he had asked to come to my show. Odd, I thought, but whatever... I've had enough people flake on this very hard to get tickets to event that I'll invite him.

After, he invited me over to cook me lobster tail he caught. Zuh? I probed my friend for the meaning of this and she suggested he saw me on stage, got reinterested and wanted to hang out. Ok, cool.

We go back to his place for an amazing dinner of lobster, mac n'cheese, spinach and mint juleps. Its romantic and lovely and blah blah blah (can you tell I'm annoyed). We start to get hot and heavy, I give him one of my amazing back massages, he gives me a mediocre one (yeah, that's right, I said it!); make out continues, and then he starts discussing serious stuff. He likes being affectionate with me, but he's seeing other people, doesn't want to rush into a relationship, ya know, over-analyzing like I tend to do, but I don't do it out loud to the person!

I put on the brakes, told him I was surprised by tonight, he'd been pretty platonic recently. Yeah he agrees. So I tell him I've actually stopped dating because of this stuff. (Not meaning just him in particular), and that I want someone who is as passionate about me as he is his other hobbies (like free diving). He understands, ask if I want to talk about it, and even has the gall to say, 'You will find someone.'

Here is where I say I'm leaving. He seemed to want me to stay, but there is no way in hell I'm letting my bruised ego suffer more for a lay. The unfortunate part in all this (ok, the least unfortunate part) is that today my car decided never to go in reverse again. So of course I'm parked behind him in his carport and he has to push my car out...while I'm trying to retain my dignity and fight back tears of so much continuous rejection (and anger at my car).

He is a gentleman and helps, asks if we can go diving again. 'Of course' I gracefully reply. Then fight the urge to respond to his text message about driving safe and thanks for a 'special evening' by saying "Eat a dick".

Sigh. He is a good guy, but he didn't feel passion for me. And I don't want someone who doesn't want to see me more than every few weeks, and won't make out with me underwater when we free dive. But for fucks sake, can the universe stop reeling me in only to toss me back with flesh wounds? I can't take it anymore!!!

Here and Now

It has been a while since my last post and I am debating on summing up the last few months in one foul swoop, or doing flash back blogs. Before we make any decisions here's the here and now:


I am taking a break from dating.


My ego has been bruised way too many times recently and it needs to heal. I am instead going to buy a stand up paddle board and spend some time in the ocean (all mermaid-like).
 
Ok, I've made a decision to do some recap posts and just discuss the most recent (tonight's) events. The head chef at the restaurant I work at, had become a friend of mine. Every once in a while we go out for food and drinks after work and typically discuss the restaurant "bidness". On one of these excursions, we went to a local restaurant where he knows the partial owner/owner's son who manages the place somewhat. I became interested in said person, asked him out and got no response (via text).



(Makes the "whatever" sign with her hands, followed by the "L" for Looser hand signal... ego only slightly bruised).



The next time we go to this establishment, the guy is all over me, we're flirting, drinking, taking care of my drunk chef, etc. At one point he smoothly does the passionate kiss against the bar while chef is out of the room thing. Hijinks ensue.

But, turns out he's nuts. As in, freak out while I'm over at his place anxiety attack after said hijinks. So, I leave. Don't hear back from him. Tell myself I avoided a difficult situation with a spoiled baby man boy and I deserve better. (Some ego scratches, will heal)


We visited the restaurant some time later, everything was actually very casual, no awkwardness. I do my usual text follow up with baby man boy, don't really hear much back. No biggie.

Then today, chef tells me spoiled man boy got fired. I could only guess why, but still didn't want to hear it. Ego has been sufficiently bruised (due to other events to be discussed later), so much so that even touching it hurts. Yes, the partial owner had a 3 way with some of his waitresses, his older brother (super owner) found out and FIRED HIS OWN BROTHER!! Kind of glad, kind of disgusted that I went there.

So what happens now? Baby boy continues to live off his family's riches (seriously, he owns a yacht) and I wish that I had stole one of his surfboards when I had the chance (he has a second bedroom just to store all of them in).

I explain the ego bruising to the chef and he feels bad, explains that he warned me (did he?) and made me feel worst (grrrrr). I mope a bit, don't to any dinosaur impersonations for him, and keep working. He notices and lets me in on something... One of his handsome friends, who comes into our restaurant, likes me. Oh, the good looking one? Yes. Oh, the one who always comes in with model sized girls...?

Yes.



Thanks, but not really. I appreciate it, but lets be honest, I don't have time for that shit.