Perspective

Sorry I've been M.I.A. for a while. Such is the case with being a student in the type of program I am in (vague, I know). That and I spent my winter break working two jobs and going to school. The class I took was an Interpersonal Communication class with an incredible professor. Some of my next few blogs will be pulled from papers I wrote for that class which, ironically, are relevant to this site.

But that's not why I write here today. The Perspective I refer to in the title, is that of my last blog and how the shoe changed foot, er...feet?

Last summer I was dating, a bit, and one of the gentlemen I had the opportunity to spend some quality time with was an artist we will call "Granola". In one of those random chance meetings, Granola was close friends with someone else who had sent me a message on a dating site. This other person lived about 6 hours away from me, and yet wrote to me occasionally, even though we never met. Somehow, a common social networking site we were all on, recommended Granola and I become friends. We did, and then we met up, and then we dated.

Granola was handsome, tall, creative, and very shy. I had had bad experiences with artists types before, so I tended to avoid them at all costs (and actors, though I have enough artists and actor friends now that have become ingratiated to me, I still may not date them). He was not a very social creature, which doesn't always mesh with my personality. But he was very kind, sensitive, and funny.

And, there was no chemistry... for me.

I know that is harsh, but we're putting the shoe on the other foot here. Granola was sweet, but I wasn't ready, or I didn't know what I was doing, or (most likely) I didn't have enough time. Whatever it was, it wasn't meant to be (for me). I sensed that he was more interested in me than I was in him. He once even told me that he would help me learn to love my curves!

Yeah, I'm crazy for not falling for that.

So, here is our perspective. After tears shed over Chicken boy, I soon had to realize that I had been on the other side of the fence as well. I too had some one who really(?) liked me, and I wasn't as interested in them. Now I'm the jerk.

And in the ironic twist, Granola had also sent me a message clarifying that it was over (just like I did with Chicken boy), and letting me know that he enjoyed the time we spent together. (And that he wasn't looking for a relationship either, but I didn't really believe that part).

I recently got back in touch with Granola, had coffee, invited him to an art show. It was great to see him. Maybe we can be friends. Do I really want to be friends with Chicken boy? No, not yet, its too soon and I'm still hurt. (Though he did just recently accept the social networking friend request I sent him from back when we were dating, and I did have a chance to explain to him, when he randomly contacted me to go to the beach, that I was under the impression that he was interested in me, and was honestly surprised that he wasn't. That shut him up.)

From having a chance to review a past fling, and see that I was not always the one being rejected (that's a harsh word, and I'm attempting to strike it from my vocabulary), I have learned to see both sides of the equation, and not get as hurt next time it doesn't work out.

Though I can't promise it will ever make sense to me.