First date: Lunch tacos

With that experience paving the way this excursion, I trotted on, very amused and excited to share my ridiculous pantless story with my friends. Hence, in a fit of one drinking one night, I reentered the world of online dating, and made myself a profile. Within minutes I was chatting up what I deemed a higher caliber of gentlemen, unknowing that these would prove to be fodder for my future blog.

 One guy in particular seemed destined to make the cut. Super tall (I’m a tree climber), from a huge family, volunteers, active, successful, and has a dog! We exchanged numbers with plans to get drinks soon and the next day he called! Voice a bit monotone, but deep (good thing), was friendly, cheeky, and up front. Maybe a bit too upfront…

 After our initial convo, then came the texts…

 

“What color underwear are you wearing?”

 

“(Picture of him, neck down, in just a towel)”

 

“Send me a picture of you in your panties”

 

And so on. It got to be so frequent I had to turn my phone off. I postponed our date until the next week, and told him I was unavailable to talk until then. He calmed down the texts, but on the way to our lunch date, once again…

 

“What color underwear are you wearing?”

 

Sigh.

 

In person, he was even more monotone (think the teachers in the Peanuts cartoons). And nothing of the text monster was revealed, which in my book is even worst. If you’re going to be creepy, don’t hide behind your text messages, own it! Be funny about it, but don’t be a coward!

 

And, in the middle of lunch, he got up, bought himself a cookie, and didn’t get one for me!!

OH HELL NO!

 

But it did make for the inspiration for this blog name.

 

No second date